May I just be real tonight? Usually on my blog I try to share the fun & positive parts of our life, but truthfully this week has been a hard one for us/me. For some reason I just don't have the "happy" blog post in me. I guess I am looking for a listening friend in the internet tonight.
Right now we are getting our first real snow of the season & it is beautiful. Usually I love the first snow, but this year is different... all I can think about is how much harder the snow is going to make everything these next few months... no park visits to wear out active toddlers, coats the boys hate, putting hats on over-and over-and over (they won't leave them on), lugging 21&23lb. children through the snow, snow on my floors which will make them require even more washing (I already semi-wash the floors 3 times a day after the boys eat), the list goes on & on.
Ever since the first few months of the boy's lives I have said that every month has gotten a little easier. Six months was way easier than 3 months, 9 months easier than 6 months, and 12 months easier than 9. I am no longer saying that.
Benjamin & Joseph make me laugh everyday, they give me cuddles that melt my heart, they are my greatest joy. But... they are also sooooo active, they empty everything possible thing in my house 100 times a day, they demand mommy's attention constantly, make a gigantic mess every time they eat, fight with each other, attempt to unknowingly kill themselves or their brother hourly, are getting heavy to carry around, have developed an opinion about food (which changes daily), have been sick 3 out of the last 6 weeks, and one of them has decided a daily one hour nap is all he needs.
Well, I guess that is my pity party for tonight. I truly am so grateful for these boys. They are my blessings from God. I know I don't need to even say that. I also am so aware that there are many who face much greater struggles than these minor little difficulties in my life, but for some reason tonight I am feeling tired and a little down. Thanks for listening. I know someday I will want this time with them back, so I am trying to just treasure our middle of the night sickness cuddles, and reading the same book over & over & over, and the fact that they love me more than anyone else. I plan to be back blogging about some of the great stuff this next week!
Right now we are getting our first real snow of the season & it is beautiful. Usually I love the first snow, but this year is different... all I can think about is how much harder the snow is going to make everything these next few months... no park visits to wear out active toddlers, coats the boys hate, putting hats on over-and over-and over (they won't leave them on), lugging 21&23lb. children through the snow, snow on my floors which will make them require even more washing (I already semi-wash the floors 3 times a day after the boys eat), the list goes on & on.
Ever since the first few months of the boy's lives I have said that every month has gotten a little easier. Six months was way easier than 3 months, 9 months easier than 6 months, and 12 months easier than 9. I am no longer saying that.
Benjamin & Joseph make me laugh everyday, they give me cuddles that melt my heart, they are my greatest joy. But... they are also sooooo active, they empty everything possible thing in my house 100 times a day, they demand mommy's attention constantly, make a gigantic mess every time they eat, fight with each other, attempt to unknowingly kill themselves or their brother hourly, are getting heavy to carry around, have developed an opinion about food (which changes daily), have been sick 3 out of the last 6 weeks, and one of them has decided a daily one hour nap is all he needs.
Well, I guess that is my pity party for tonight. I truly am so grateful for these boys. They are my blessings from God. I know I don't need to even say that. I also am so aware that there are many who face much greater struggles than these minor little difficulties in my life, but for some reason tonight I am feeling tired and a little down. Thanks for listening. I know someday I will want this time with them back, so I am trying to just treasure our middle of the night sickness cuddles, and reading the same book over & over & over, and the fact that they love me more than anyone else. I plan to be back blogging about some of the great stuff this next week!
.
I will finish with a few photos that make me smile ♥ ♥ ♥
(and I am heading to bed because some good sleeps always makes tomorrow look brighter!)
5 comments:
Aw. Hang in there Deborah. Your boys are at such a challenging age. I can't even imagine two at that age at the same time! You're going to make it-- God is so gracious-- He gives you strength moment by moment. I know you know that already, but sometimes a reminder helps. You'll make it through. And someday you'll look back and smile. :)
SO...I'm sitting here crying. You have just blogged what's seemingly been my life for the last three years. It's so wonderful and such an unspeakable blessing AND so overwhelming all at the same time. The verses that just come to mind ALLLLLL the time are from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Ever miss the days of being roommates when our biggest ordeals were having to wait five minutes to get in the shower or to use the phone? Naw, me neither! See? We wouldn't trade these little gems! Here is one little winter hint: I would seriously go in the bathroom, shut the door and just close my eyes and pray for a few minutes...alone. It was so refreshing--even if they were beating on the door the whole time! Hang in there! Love you fellow momma of twins!
Hey Debbi! You're doing great. Of course I can only imagine your feelings but I know that God does not give us a task and trial that is more than we can bare with His help. You must frequently remind yourself, (as you posted yesterday morning on facebook) "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cry" - Psalm 34:15.
I do so appreciate your work and sacrifice for my grandsons! Though I cannot be there and help, I can pray for you and I WILL AND DO PRAY FOR YOU!
"The principle of sacrifice is that we choose to do or to suffer what apart from our love we should not choose to do or to suffer. When love is returned, this sacrifice is the most joyful thing in the world, and heaven is the life of joyful sacrifice. But in a selfish world it must be painful, and the pain is the source of triumph." --William Temple
One of the things that was a real sanity saver for me when I had two little ones was 'Kid Break.' When Jason came home from work every day, I took a kid break where I was absolutely not responsible at all for the kids for 15 minutes. Not physically or mentally. I usually went down to our bedroom and read a book. It doesn't sound like very long now...but it was a wonderful respite at the time. It gave me a chance to let down after a stressful day and let the stressful stuff go. Then I could rejoin the family and we had a happy evening.
Also...if you ever need to bring the boys up to the fellowship hall to just run some evening, we would be happy to come let you in the building at church...we used to do that too, just to give them a place to run...it helped get that extra energy out.
and btw...I think you are doing an awesome job with your little boys Deb. You are a great mother. Hang in there!
Post a Comment